Once
upon a time there was a couple that were madly in love. Their love had gotten
them through many battles and struggles together. In the case of these two
individuals, the phrase “teamwork makes the dream work” truly comes into play.
These lovers were none other than the famous Aladdin and his princess wife. Aladdin
had control of a magic lamp that contained a genie that would grant all of
their wishes. It was because of this lamp that he was able to go from rags to
riches and win over the love of the princess.
The princess
didn’t know about the magic lamp and one day a disguised magician from Aladdin's past offered her a new lamp in exchange for her old one. Not knowing what she was doing, she
happily accepted the magician's offer. Once the magician had control of the lamp, he immediately whisked the princess and their palace away to Africa. Aladdin had to find them in Africa and devise a plan to
get the lamp back. Aladdin and the princess plotted together and poisoned the evil magician,
took their lamp, and went back to China together. What the two didn’t know was
that the magician had an evil brother. And that is where the story truly
begins.
The princess and
Aladdin were so happy to be home that they rejoiced at every friend they were
reunited with and kissed the soil upon which they were blessed to walk on
again. Everything seemed to be working out and going back to normal. People
were visiting them and welcoming them back on a regular basis. It was no
surprise that one day, the princess invited the town's beloved friend, Fatima, into the
palace with welcoming arms.
What the princess
didn’t know was that it wasn’t actually Fatima, but the brother of the evil
magician who was even more cruel and cunning than his dead brother. The brother
had killed the city’s beloved Fatima and entered her body, pretending to be
Fatima and hoping to seek revenge.
The princess, not
having any of this knowledge, offered to give Fatima a tour of the palace. She
showed her the dining area, the servant’s quarters, the outside deck with
marble pillars, fountains, and bushes cut out into the shapes of the gods. Then
for the end of the tour, the princess showed off the grandest room of all: the
great hall.
The great hall
was filled with the finest marble and gold in the world. Every inch was
meticulously crafted into intricate designs. It was a sight you could only see
to believe. The princess didn’t think it could get any better and nothing you
could add could make it more beautiful than it was. That is….until Fatima (the
magician’s brother) suggested she hang a roc’s egg from the middle of the
dome.
The princess
looked, thought long and hard, and then proceeded run to Aladdin to ask for the roc's egg. Aladdin, wanting nothing more than to please his wife, went to the
genie to ask.
The genie went
into a fit at the request. He stated, “You want a roc’s egg? It is the one thing in
the world I would refuse you, and for obvious reasons. You stupid soul, do you
not understand what you asked for? Do you seriously want me to hang my master
from the same palace I created for you? No. Never.”
Picture of an Angry Genie
Photo Retrieved From Jobberman Insider
Aladdin was
shocked and scared at his response. He had never seen the genie so upset.
The genie then
continued to speak. “It was not you or your wife who thought of this request,
but the evil brother of the magician whom you killed to regain possession of
me. He has killed a woman from the city named Fatima and is using her body to
get close to you. He wants to kill you as revenge for you taking the life of
his brother.”
With that
information, the genie disappeared and Aladdin stood there shocked. He soaked
up all of the information he had just been told and started to devise a plan.
Aladdin
immediately went to the princess and asked her to fetch her new dear friend
Fatima. She did so instantly and when the two walked through the doors, Aladdin
flung himself on top of Fatima and stabbed her. The princess screamed in horror
and tears welled in her eyes. Aladdin explained what happened and what the
genie said. The two both instantly felt at ease.
It was from that
day forward that they were never bothered by another threat. They lived the
rest of their days in happiness and prosperity.
The end!
Author's note: I didn’t change
much in this story from the original since the entire series of stories flow together. I mostly just tried to
tell the story how I would have liked to hear it. I added additional details and imagery to truly paint a picture in the reader's mind. In the beginning of Aladdin’s
story, Aladdin tricks an evil magician who was trying to get the lamp. Aladdin
is then able to successfully retrieve the magic lamp that contains a powerful genie, as
well as a ring that contains an additional genie. The genie that is in the lamp
is much more powerful, though, and is able to give him whatever he asks for. So
Aladdin, who was once poor, is able to have anything in the world that he
wants. He is able to win over the princess and the two fall madly in love.
The evil magician, who still desires the lamp, hears of a palace that is so grand you wouldn’t believe it. He knows that this must be Aladdin’s palace, and the genie must be giving him all of his extravagant possessions. So the evil magician decides to go retrieve the lamp by tricking the princess, and that is where I decided to start my story. I started my story with that part because there is so much background information that leads up to this final story in Aladdin.
The evil magician, who still desires the lamp, hears of a palace that is so grand you wouldn’t believe it. He knows that this must be Aladdin’s palace, and the genie must be giving him all of his extravagant possessions. So the evil magician decides to go retrieve the lamp by tricking the princess, and that is where I decided to start my story. I started my story with that part because there is so much background information that leads up to this final story in Aladdin.
Bibliography: Aladdin and the Lamp 6 The Arabian
Nights' Entertainments by Andrew Lang and illustrated by H.
J. Ford (1898).
What a fun retelling! Your writing always seems to have a lively, exciting quality to it. I think that’s great, keep doing what you’re doing! I liked that you used an image of the genie from the Disney version of Aladdin…because who doesn’t love the Disney version of Aladdin? I found the ending of your story to be very unexpected!
ReplyDeleteHi Katelynn!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story. I liked it because it was about Aladdin and the magic lamp, but it was not the typical Aladdin story everyone is used to hearing. It was neat though because I knew the character already. This is probably the first story I have read for this class that I actually knew something about it before reading. So that was really nice. I thought you did a great job of rewriting it, but still keeping it the same. And of course I love the picture you chose! Good job!
Hey!
ReplyDeleteSo, this was a pretty good story, and I love the direction you’ve gone with this, but there are some things that I noticed needed some improvement. One thing is grammar. You use a lot of commas (not necessarily a bad thing - I love a good comma myself) but you have them where they don’t need to be. Reading the story aloud and putting pauses where the commas are will help you figure out which ones sound weird and should be left out.
The main thing is the lack of explanations. It’s hard to give any really good exposition in a thousand word story I know, but this one really needed it. You picked such a common theme (nearly every one has seen the Disney’s Aladdin) that all of the time you spend on back story could have been skipped. Those first two paragraphs could be condensed into a sentence or two. Then you could have more time to expand on the actual story details: who Fatima is, the evil brother’s plan, Aladdin devising a counter plan, things like that. The story has fantastic elements but it moved a little fast and didn’t have enough story context so I was confused through a lot of it. Keeping it simple is always the best plan, but you can always take the time to explain things plainly. You know what’s going on, but the reader isn’t a mind reader and so won’t unless you spell it out.
Like I said, this story has a lot of potential. I’m excited to see how your writing develops this semester!
This was one of my favorite stories from the unit and I am glad you decided to retell it. I also love that you included the picture of the genie from the movie Aladdin because the entire time I was reading it I could not help but picture him in my brain. I think you did a great job of telling the story, but not much was changed and I would have maybe liked to have seen something different. Like writing from the wife's or genie's point of view. Or even writing it from the evil magician's point of view. I think something like that would have really added character to the story and allowed you to expand even more on the details. You don't really get a sense of how evil the magician is or why he is doing the evil things. I think you did a great job, just work on maybe getting a little more creative with the changes to the original.
ReplyDeleteKatelynn,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your take on the classic story of Aladdin. This is such a timeless story, as many of us have seen it through the eyes of Disney. I loved that you wanted to tell the story the way you wanted it to be told. I am always too afraid to change major parts of a story, but you did it and it worked really well.
In this story, you used so many details that really helped the story to flow well. Sometimes when telling stories, readers can get easily bogged down in the huge amounts of information being thrown at them but I think you did an awesome job of keeping the reader interested while not being too information –heavy in your storytelling.
I think that my favorite part of your retelling was the slight differences you highlighted from the Disney story that we all know. I don’t know this story from the original lens and rather than the Disney lens and I loved that there were more characters than I knew about.
Overall, I think you did an awesome job. I loved the view through which you told the story and I enjoyed it from beginning to end.
Hi Katelynn! I really like your webpage and the background. It seems peaceful and meadow. Is that one of your personal pictures, or did you take that from the internet? Another thing I like about your page is the side bar. It is cool how you have your twitter right there on the side.
ReplyDeleteThe story of Aladdin was one of my favorite stories we have had the choice to read in this class, and your storytelling post was from the best part of it in my opinion. I liked how you kept the story accurate to the original and told it in an easier way. Your version was definitely easier to read and helped the story flow perfectly. I also liked how you expanded into brief detail over some things. On a side note: I was not really sure how to read this sentence and it seems wordy to me. “The princess and Aladdin were so happy to be home that they rejoiced at every friend they were reunited with and kissed the soil upon which they were blessed to walk on again.” Other than that everything else is perfect I think you did a great job with this story. I am not sure how the writing portfolio works but I am excited to see what other stories your have next to talk about.
Katelynn, I really love reading stories like this one about characters that we grew up knowing, but not really "knowing". I was never aware of the background of the Aladdin story or the events that happened in it.
ReplyDeleteI also think since many people have probably never heard this story that it was a great idea to not change many of the original pieces of the story, but rather add more imagery and enhance the little details of the story!
I think the way you told this story made it easy to follow and understand! I found it a really interesting story, and even though there was a lot of background info and events that had happened in the story, you told them in a chronological and understandable manner.
The only suggestion I would make is maybe shortening some of the more insignificant events and/or background details and expanding on the actual story about the magician’s brother hiding in the body of Fatima. This way readers do not get confused by all the events happening, and instead allows us all to focus more on one particular event.
Overall, I think my favorite part of your story was definitely the graphic. I loved the picture of the familiar, and angry, genie!! It ties in the Aladdin that most readers associate with.
Katelynn,
ReplyDeleteI chose to read the Aladdin story out of your portfolio because this is a unit that I read and very much enjoyed, so I’m curious to see what you did with it!
I think you retold this story in a great way and it is not something I would have thought of if I were doing this. Most people know the story of Aladdin from the Disney movie and you summarized that plot in the very first part and skipped straight to the ending. I like that you did this because this story definitely differs from the Disney version and you retold it in such a way that even people who didn’t read the unit can understand it and compare and contrast the two.
The story definitely gets crazy at the end with the multiple genies and the magician’s brother coming back for revenge! The thing that I took away most when reading your story was how different it was from the movie we all know, so I’m glad that you chose to retell that part rather than the part where Aladdin simply meets the princess and finds a few genies! I’m glad I picked this story out of your portfolio to read!